Another week, another set of new music. Coming up this week: Little Mix do some life coaching, Rita Ora puts on a hazmat suit, we visit a vintage clothing store and witness ducks getting their revenge. Welcome to Chart Chasers!
Our musical journey does not get off to a good start as our first song today is by Little Mix, one of several artists that I wish would stop making music forever. The track is titled Change Your Life. The only way Little Mix could change my life is my donating a large sum of money to me or one of them dating me.
Oh. I hate to admit it, I really do, but this isn’t too bad. The talky bits are awful- very rarely does that technique actually work well in a song. The chorus is a decent pop song chorus though. It’s nothing special but it’s significantly better than I expected. 3/5.
Uh-oh, watch out for the Explosions! Ellie Goulding has apparently brought her TNT along and is blowing stuff up again. They never should have let her our of explosions rehab.
YAWN! Boring! How can a song about explosions be so dull? Even the chorus doesn’t really get things going. In my opinion this is Ellie’s worst song yet. I expected more from her. 2/5.
Next up is the Queen of hit and miss songs, Rita Ora. I fear this one may be a miss because it has a title virtually every artist of the 21st century has used for a song at some point: Radioactive. I don’t imagine Miss Ora to be much of an expert on radioactivity- she’s not exactly Marie Curie is she?
I wonder if it’s cheaper to make a video which only takes up a small portion of the screen? I quite like this one and would categorise it as one of Rita’s hits. It’s a bit generic though and could pretty much be by any modern female artist. Especially Rihanna, it sounds a LOT like a Rihanna song. I’m giving it a 4/5.
NEW ARTIST ALERT! I do love hearing an artist I’ve never heard before. Fingers crossed that this is something amazing. The artist is Macklemore and the track also features Wanz. It’s called Thrift Shop. Apparently a Thrift Shop is a vintage clothes shop so I expect this song is either by hipsters or about hipsters…
I adore the chorus. I don’t really like the rest of it. I’m not really sure if this is a comedy song or not, it does kind of take the piss out of vintage shops. Am I being stupid? Probably. Kind of enjoyable but I wouldn’t want it on my iPod. 3/5.
Oh, it’s time for another X-Factor artist, a phrase which here means “an generic pop artist who has had a little commercial success but not really that much”. This one is Amelia Lily and the track is called Shut Up (And Give Me Whatever You Got). Sounds like a break-up song!
Ooh, dancey pop! This reminds me of a worse Cascada or a better Miley Cyrus. It has such a catchy chorus. My brain tells me I should hate this but I kind of love it. I do like a bit of cheesy pop and I suppose this kind of fits into that category. 4/5.
NEW ARTIST ALERT! It’s unusual for a new artist to hit the top spot in the chart with their first single but the Bingo Players have done it. Surely only old people play Bingo don’t they? Is this a song by pensioners? I would assume so but it also features Far East Movement. It’s called Get Up (Rattle). What the hell is the rattle for? I wonder what on Earth this is going to be…
Oh. My. God. The ducks! Ducks getting their revenge on idiots. Best video of the day by a mile. The track itself is pretty catchy too. It’s not the sort of thing I'd listen to in everyday life but on a night out this would be epic. I really hope it is played when I go out on Friday. 4/5.
That’s all for this week, a particularly odd edition but great fun nonetheless. Join us for more music and craziness next Monday!