Chart Chasers #19

Hello and welcome to this my look at the newly charting songs of the week. There’s TEN tracks to look at today so I better get going!

This week’s first track brings the best band name/title combo I think I have ever seen. It’s Can You Blow My with Whistle. Yeah, seriously. I can’t imagine this has charted for song quality based on the title but surely that it’s enough to bring it into the top 20. I can’t see Can You Blow My having any more success after this. I mean what else can they call their tracks. I guess it would have to be things like “trumpet” and “vuvuzela”…

This song win the award for “most difficult to find on the internet”. It’s a cover of the Flo Rida track at the end of this post. I don’t yet know the Flo Rida version yet but I love this version. It’s wonderful. Not sure how it ended up getting in the chart though! 4/5.

Things aren’t looking good for the next track. It’s by Aiden Grimshaw who I think was on The X Factor. I don’t think he won either. Plus the song is entitled Is This Love yet does not have a question mark at the end, despite is obviously being a question. Messing up the grammar is not a good start…

This track has a decent chorus but isn’t very special beyond that. 3/5.

Unfortunately things aren’t getting any better because at #30 in the chart this week is Justin Beiber. She is currently also #40 and seems to be having quite a run of charting songs. At least they are not charting very high. It’s kind of ludicrous that they are charting at all, which is appropriate because this track also features Ludacris. It’s called All Around the World.

This next thing is difficult to write. This song is actually ok. Of course that has nothing to do with Beiber as her voice is autotuned loads. With another artist this would probably be a decent track. But it’s just about listenable without my ears bleeding which is an improvement for a Beiber song. 2/5.

Next is everyone’s favourite ginger after Ron Weasley, Ed Sheeran. This track is called Small Bump. I saw Ed perform this on The Voice UK final and I didn’t like it very much live. The studio version might sound better though.

This version definitely sounds better but it’s the first time I’ve heard a Sheeran song and not loved it. I guess it’s popular with the girls largely because they all love him and will like the subject matter more. I feel kind of bad saying this because I am a big fan of Ed but I just don’t like this one very much. It’s ok but I much prefer his other work. 3/5.

Our next song is Lady Antebellum with Need You Now. According to my source this is not a new track but has hurtled up the chart this week. I’ve never heard of it before though and having the faintest clue what to expect. Either some dancey thing or a ballad I reckon.

I was spot-on with ballad, though I hadn’t thought it would be a duet. I find their voices really grating actually. When the two of them are singing full volume at the same time I feel all weird, and not in a good way. I really don’t like this. 1/5.

Join us after the break for Eastenders parodying, giant potato snacks, an unusual name for a body part and a fantastic tune. Just click “read more”.

I have to give some kind of admiration to this next act for parodying an “Eastenders” character in their artist name. This is Dot Rotten with a track called Overload.

I didn’t think very much of this. There have been so many similar songs to this one that it’s nothing new. Generic boring rubbish. 1/5.

Hurrah! Nelly Furtado is back! Actually I’m as yet undecided whether that’s a good thing. The track has the odd title of Big Hoops (Bigger the Better). Is this Furtado’s ode to giant Hula Hoops?

I like the start. The bigger the better the bigger the better the bigger the better. Etc. But what the hell was the rest of it? Nelly has managed to make her voice even more annoying than the likes of Nicki Minaj. I do believe this is the song I like least out of every one of these blog posts. And to think I actually quite like some of Nelly’s older stuff. –1/5.

Finally a track arrives that might well save us from the low standards presented by the other artists so far. DJ Fresh (of being Hot Right Now fame) has teamed up with my fave rapper Dizzee Rascal for a track called The Power. I have a feeling this one is going to be good…

TUNE! I think this song has made this post. What a great summer track. I love it, simple as that. 5/5.

Next is Usher with a song called Scream. I have never liked Usher very much so this will have to be something very special to make me like it.

Thought so. Just another Usher track. They all sound very similar. 2/5.

And we’ve heard the cover and it’s time to end with the original. Here’s Flo Rida with Whistle.

Well I quite like this one. It’s certainly the best thing Flo Rida has made. Except then when you think about the lyrics its quite disturbing. The chorus is:

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

I think we all know what body part the word whistle is being substituted for. But I love the song if I don’t think about the lyrics! So on that basis I will give it an average score of 3/5.

That’s it for this week, as ever share your thoughts in the comments! See you next week for more!

The bigger the better the bigger the better the better the bigger…..