Chart Chasers #8

It’s Monday, you know what that means? Yes it’s Chart Chasers, where I look at the five highest new entries in the UK chart and decided most of them are complete rubbish. At least that’s how it normally works…

We start off today with You Me At Six in at number 23 with a song called The Swarm. The swarm of what? Bees? Locusts? Plastic bags? I think we’d better investigate:

What on Earth was that? Where was the buzzing of the swarm? I doubt insects would be found anywhere near such a racket. Oh and in answer to the question, no, this is not the end of the world. Though if I ever have to listen to that again it will be the end of my world. 1/5.

We’re all the way up at number 6 for the next song. It’s by JLS and they’re very Proud of it. It is the official Sport Relief track so at least it’s for a good cause. Will it be as bad as the band’s usual stuff though?

Well this is awkward. I quite like that. But it’s JLS! I’m not a teenage girl, it is wrong for me to like a song by them. It’s a decent nice-messagey pop song rather than their attempt at dance music which is all dreadful. Not bad really, good effort lads! 3/5.

Next up is Labrinth with Last Time at number 4. Funnily enough, last time Labrinth released a song I really quite like it. But will it be two in a row?

Well that was a weird video! But the song was pretty good, although overused autotune. I can’t work out if the autotune was done for the effect or to make Labrinth sound better. Either way, I still quite like it. 4/5.

At number two is Sean Paul. My heart has just sunk. What rubbish has he got for us this time? This is a track called She Doesn’t Mind. I’m sure she does Sean.

The airports I go to are nothing like that! As expected that was another dreadful song from Mr. Paul. Why he is so popular is beyond me? Plus I despise the use of women in this video. Haven’t we passed the point where women dance provocatively for men to leer at? It would seem not. How sad. 0/5.

Our final song this week is the UK’s new number one and is Part of Me by Katy Perry. Here it is for your earhole’s pleasure:

It’s by no means by fave Perry song, but this was is a decent little ditty. I’m sure it will grow on me too but for now I shall give this 4/5.

That is it for this week but there’s more every Monday! Hurrah!