Big Kids

Hello. I have just returned from my second trip to the dentist in as many days. Yesterday I had to get up especially early to go and see the hygienist, a woman who takes pleasure in stabbing your gums and scratching your teeth, only to find she was ill and was going home. So I had to come back today for an 8PM appointment! What dentist offers 8PM appointments? Well, mine apparently. It was an unusually pleasant experience though as this hygienist was lovely, in a motherly sort of way. I’m rambling about dentists now.

Though whilst on the subject of dentists, I feel is the prime opportunity to share the love/hate (actually just hate) relationship my granddad has with his hygienist. Every time my granddad goes he says something rude to her. If I remember rightly he called her a bitch one when she prodded his gum. On one occasion he said “See you next time, unless one of us dies and I really hope it’s not me”. Last time he said “When you get on your broomstick and return to Hogwarts give my wishes to Harry”. I quite like that my granddad is modern enough to use such a phrase though I’m not sure calling the hygienist a witch is the way forward. Since my granddad’s last appointment with the hygienist she has left the practice, much to my granddad’s pleasure. Either he drove her away or she is as horrible as he claims and he’s been sacked. My granddad doesn’t care either way though…

Yesterday myself and Chris went to Southampton because it was somewhere we don’t go that often and we wanted some entertainment. It turns out that we are massive kids. To get out of the main shopping centre to street level on one of the exits involves either going down a lift or down seven flights of stairs. We choose the stairs and a spontaneous race broke out. It’s probably fortunate no-one was coming in the opposite direction as we may well have knocked them over. We decided to visit IKEA, because that’s the kind of wild people we are, and realised the only way to the entrance was up several sloped conveyer belts; “travelators” I think is their official title. Anyway, we discovered that if you walk up them pretty quick you can go really rather fast without putting much effort in. Though if you want to try this, be careful if there’s a barrier near the end as it’s quite tricky to stop!

The other big kid thing we did was go around Toys ‘R’ Us (a massive toy store). For a few minutes it was like all the adult experiences I’ve ever had melted away and I was an excited eight year old again. The Scalextric and Hot Wheels were the highlights but almost of all of it was hypnotising and incredible. The store felt much smaller than when I was a kid though. If only the proper excitement I used to get about literally everything could come back. Ah, the delights of childhood.

I did a rather stupid thing during the day out. In some stores the up and down escalators run parallel to each other. We were going upstairs and I very nearly stepped on the wrong down escalator to go up. It was only Chris pointing out my mistake which saved me. If I had stepped on it I would have probably ended up falling over. Thank goodness that didn’t happen. Not that I haven't fallen over in a shop in Southampton before but that was due to a really narrow set of stairs. My feet are bigger than narrow steps. This causes me to fall off them all the time. Plus I’m really clumsy.

Chris did something a embarrassing as well which he will love me for sharing with you. We often say “tune” when a song we like comes on somewhere and Chris did that in one store. Except the song was by boyband The Wanted. I hadn’t realised Chris was such a big fan of theirs. Apparently he is though…

Today has been very windy. Getting home from visiting my granddad became quite the challenge because all loads of roads were closed due to fallen trees. Every time we tried a new route the road was closed and we had to go another way. It took 45 minutes to do a ten minute journey. When we came home we found a rather disconcerting sight. One of the trees in our garden, that is around twenty feet tall, has been dead for well over a year but we haven't managed to get around to having it taken out. Well the strong winds of today meant it was moving a lot. In fact the ground was moving at it’s base and it really looked like it would fall down any minute, crashing onto our conservatory. Amazingly though the tree is still standing but if I hear the sound of smashing glass in the middle of the night I know what it will be. It’s added a little bit of drama to my day anyway.

Oh and highlight of the day today? My brother getting moody first thing this morning because I was in the shower. “Dan’s in the bloody shower”. Then, after only several minutes when he was in the shower himself: “Why won’t it work? Bloody thing!” WHACK, WHACK, WHACK. “I haven't got time for this!”. My brother getting in a mood is a brilliant way for me to start the day. Probably not so good for him though.

Tomorrow I shall be reviewing stuff. Lot of stuff. So come back for that. Over and out.