Limericks!

This evening I was bored so I ended up writing some limericks. Most are about people you might know and please don’t be offended by anything, it’s just mostly what rhymed.

There was an old woman called Nan,

who got run over by a van.

She ended up flat,

her face went splat

and all that was left was her hand

There was an old man called Neil,

who went on Deal or No Deal,

He opened a box,

There was enough for some socks

He was happier than he ever could feel.

 

There was a quiet boy called Chris,

His friends they did take the piss

He pulled out a fist,

But sadly he missed

And poor Chris they continued to diss.

 

There was a strange guy called Mike

On a geology trip he fell on a dyke

He ruined his face

In the horrible place,

And on that status his friends clicked "like"

 

There was a young girl called Sammy,

It was hot and her hands went all clammy

She started to melt

And so did her belt,

In the end she looked like a granny.

 

There was a smart guy called Torr,

Who one walked into a door.

His eye went black,

(it was quite a smack)

And also he broke his jaw.

 

There was a young girl called Cass,

who weighed very little mass

She floated away

On a very sad day

And was eaten by a giant bass.

 

There was a young man called Tidders

At am auction he was one of the bidders

He bought a dalek,

signed the cheque with a bic

But the jokers he couldn't get ridders.

And Cassie cleverly responded with a limerick about me:

There was a boy named Dan

He made Gemma's meal in a Pan

He made wacky videos

whilst eating his Cheerio's

And now he's on a video ban